


Choices and Decisions

by Karenkk



Series: Kintsugi [7]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Depression, Dubious Consent, F/M, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, past child sexual abuse, victim shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-11 19:33:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18430646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karenkk/pseuds/Karenkk
Summary: The first time Yuzuru saw Javier kissing Miki, it was almost like all air had been squeezed out of his lungs. Suddenly it was impossible to breathe.A yuzuvier story being told by both sides. Please read it as part of the Kintsugi series.Yuzuru's POVRPS disclaimer applies.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Yuzuru saw Javier kissing Miki, it was almost like all air had been squeezed out of his lungs. Suddenly it was impossible to breathe. He stopped dead at the door, well hidden by the shadow. His eyesight unhindered, as he took in the way Javier held her in his arms with so much gentleness and care, like she was the most precious thing in his life. 

He recalled his own kisses with Javier. Always with a hint of franticness, they were full of lust and hunger. Thinking back, they were nothing more empty and meaningless acts that lead to sex. 

Yuzuru tried to laugh it off. No strings attached meant exactly that. Javier was never his, to begin with. It was convenient sex, he told himself, nothing more nothing less. It should have been easy to let it go. After all, they never made any commitment to each other. It was a miracle that little arrangement of theirs lasted more than two years given how popular the Spaniard had always been with the female population. 

But instead, he played that scene in his head over and over again. He obsessed over the way the Spaniard ran his fingers through her long strands of hair. And how he tilted her head so lovingly so he could capture those lips between his own. It was nothing at all like the way the older man had him against a wall, his tongue in mouth, his hands down in his pants. He fixated on the way they smiled at each other afterward, full of delight and amazement. It was so unlike the cold look Javier gave him after coming in his mouth for the last time. The Japanese couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like to the recipient of such affection. If he was better at expressing his feelings would it have all turned out differently? Then he laughed at himself, convenient sex, remember?

He was so distracted by it all that he made mistakes again and again during the practice until Akihiro clearly had enough of it, had him pinned against the ground just as he was about to get up from his latest fall. His body slammed hard against the hard surface, the sound of impact echoed throughout the empty rink. Those eyes were dark and unreadable. Yuzuru wanted to look away, but he couldn't let himself. Don't be a coward on top everything else, he told himself. So he stared back, defiant as ever until he was flipped over and pushed face first onto the ice. 

"Always so easily distracted. Do you ever learn?" Yuzuru was berated as his pants were pulled down. He groaned in pain as a few fingers were shoved into his mouth before pushed inside of him. Akihiro roughly stretched him a few times before replacing those fingers with his erection. Yuzuru laid on that hard surface, feeling the iciness slowly seeping through his training gear as the older man fucked him with nothing but saliva as lubricant. 

"And this is what you forced me to resort to." The older man scolded him, as he forced his knees further apart, pushing the limit of his flexibility, just so it was as painful as possible. 

Stupid, just so stupid, Yuzuru chided himself. He was so easily distracted, be a lost competition, a jump he failed to learn, or a lost friendship. He was just incapable of separating the minute things from what was truly important. Always so slow to learn from his mistakes, so the same punishment was to be imposed on him time and time again.

He bit hard onto his arm until he tasted the tang of his own blood, and stayed as quiet as he could, waiting for the punishment to be over. When it finally did, he pushed himself off the ice. With quivering hands, he pulled his pants back up so he could drag himself to the nearest bathroom. 

He knew better than taking a quick shower. The older man wasn't exactly the most patient person, as taught by past experience. Instead, he grabbed some tissue and wiped himself down as best as he could. He splashed cold water to his face, and then counted to 50 as he forced his rapid heart rate to slow down. He looked up. In the bathroom mirror, his eyes were dark and glassy, face blotchy red with ice burn. He supposed he was as ready as he was ever going to be.

The session after that was much successful. He completed the run-through without any major error in the second try. Those unnameable and confusing feelings that had coursed through his head were easily replaced with that familiar sense of numbness. His brain was cleared of all distractions. All he could think of was the steps, spins, and jumps because it was the only way he could ignore the bruises on his knees or the sharp pain between his legs.

"Well done, my little warrior. I knew you had it in you." The older man paused the music, finally satisfied with what they had achieved on the day. He cupped his face between his palms, with an expression that was almost kind. Those hands burnt against his skin, but Yuzuru knew better than pulling away. So instead he looked down and murmured his thanks.

Going back to his hotel room in a daze, he systematically showered, then started going through emails. Just get through the minutes, the hours, the days, he told himself, and eventually, he would get used to it all once again. But every word he eyes ran pass blurred into incomprehensible line. He tried, instead he found himself being stuck on the same paragraph again and again. Finally giving up on the losing battle, he resorted to staring at the white wall at front of him instead, until his phone vibrated with an incoming LINE message. 

It was from Yumi. A short video of his sister Saya's ultrasound scan. The little fetus taking refuge inside of her was already in the shape of a tiny human being, with little arms, fingers, legs and toes, and those tiny sounds of heartbeat. His little niece or nephew! He watched in awe. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than going home. He dialed his mum's number and just babbled. But Yumi was quite on the other side of the line, then she gently said his father would be at home. 

"Oh," he said softly, as the phone slipped between his trembling fingers. He didn't hear much beyond that point as she quickly pleaded with him. Something about the end of the month, when his father would be on a work trip. 

He just sat there and laughed bitterly. He wasn't going to be forgiven, was he? For sullying the Hanyu name, for bringing dishonor to his family. He supposed he should be thankful that they at least tried to maintain an air of civility, instead of disowning him outright. Not that any of them could afford the gossip or the humiliation.

In the end, nothing mattered, didn't it? He had tried to stand up to Akihiro and save his family from this mess of his own making. And yet years later, here he was, back to exactly where he was. So when the older man came knocking on his door later that night, he wordlessly let him in. When he pushed him onto his knees, forcing him to get him hard enough to fuck him, he complied. 

He laid on his hotel bed, letting himself being arranged and rearranged like a toy. He looked in detachment, as the older man climbed on top of him. Suddenly it all just became so easy. He didn't care about the pain as the older man thrust into him mercilessly, or the ache as he held his wrists in a tight grip above his head. He only looked away when Akihiro called him a lousy lay and said no wonder Javier couldn't wait to ditch him. 

He just laid there, quietly, thinking of peonies, Saya's favorite flowers of all things. He remembered her spring wedding, the last family event he was allowed to attend. She wedding gown was white as winter snow with layers upon layers of lace. She smiled at him behind her wedding bouquet, the voluptuous blossoms framed her beautiful face. He remembered being so fascinated by all that joy and happiness radiating from that tiny frame. Saya laughed at the bewildered look that must have been on his face, told him one day he would understand and it was all she ever wanted for him. He still didn't. But it was OK. The least he could do was to send her some of her favorite flowers as a congratulations gift. Red ones for wishes of happiness and prosperity, and white ones for regret and apology.


	2. Chapter 2

Akihiro kept things strictly professional, after that night. And Yuzuru didn't even feel relieved. He just didn't care at that point. If the older man had demanded, he would have opened his legs. It was just sex after all, he told himself. But it was nice he hadn't. He supposed he was just that lousy in bed. 

His off-season days were almost as busy as his on-season one with his schedule packed to the brim - attending ceremonies, shooting interviews, documentaries and commercials, attending sponsors functions. His own team, as well as the JSF representatives, were there to ensure he fulfilled his duties. His time in Japan was limited, and every organization demanded their share. Not to mention he was to decide on the music, choreography, and costumes for the upcoming season as well. Sometimes, just sometimes, he locked himself inside his hotel room, desperately wanting to be away from it all. Just for a few minutes, with his head lowered, legs folded against his abdomen, and arms wrapped around himself, he rolled himself into a fetal position. With volume on his headphone turned up to the maximum to play some upbeat music, he tried to ignore the vibration on his phone and the insistent and yet discreet knocking on his door. 

Most days he was able to walk out that room by himself, poised and with an apologetic smile. The staff members were always gracious about it, but it was only be expected as he paid for their salaries. He wondered how many times he had been called a brat or a diva behind his back. But there were also times Akihiro, who somehow got hold of his room card, had to come in to shock him out of that state. Pushed into the shower, he froze under the onslaught of chilly water, until self-preservation kicked in and he struggled to get up from the floor to turn it off. Outside, the older man already had his suits laid out on his bed. A black one with a navy tie, formal and yet understated. He shivered as he fought to button up his shirt, as he listened to Akihiro scolding him for being childishly irresponsible. 

It wasn't until they met up with the president of JSF, Seiko Hashimoto at the lobby of the hotel he vaguely remembered they had a dinner scheduled with one of the biggest sponsors of JSF that night. He probably had made all of them late with that little stunt, which would not be looked on favorably.

They barely made it on time, but their guest had already arrived. The dinner was hosted in a private dining room in a high-end restaurant serving Kaiseki. Their guest of honor, Nakamura laughed off their round of apologies, telling Seiko there was no need for such formality amongst old friends. The introduction was made, pleasantry exchanged. Nakamura's critical eyes run across every inch of Yuzuru, as he commented on how beautiful he was. The younger man had to keep himself still in his never quite fit suits under that heated gaze. After all, squirming was considered bad manner. He wasn't unfamiliar with this kind of compliments but they rarely made him this uncomfortable. Thankful the moment passed quickly. He was mostly ignored while the others in the room talked, drank and ate. As the one with least seniority in the room, he dutifully poured sake and ensured everyone was comfortable. 

Yuzuru was acquainted with these type of functions, he was required to attend one of these from time to time as the star athlete of JSF. It was an ordinary night by all accounts until everyone had down a few bottles of drinks, and Nakamura decided Yuzuru's thighs were his to caress.

The younger man politely tried to excuse himself, only to have his hand held down by Seiko beneath the table, who sat beside him. She gave him a stern look. Suddenly dawned to him what exactly was expected of him that night, he looked at her in disbelieve. Thankfully the moment broke, as Akihiro skilfully drew the older man's attention away. Yuzuru excused himself from the room, under the pretense of getting more sake. 

He leaned against the railing in the corridor, and breathed deeply of the nightly air, hopelessly trying to control the feeling of nausea. Seiko came out not long after, her face full of anger under all that meticulously applied makeup. She demanded him to get back in there. And Yuzuru refused.

"Don't think you are irreplaceable, Hanyu-senshu. Shoma-kun was barely 2 points behind in this year's world championship, and we have a league of strong junior ladies ready to debut into their senior career." She said snidely, "We have been backing you all these years, and we are not to be taken for granted."

"How is this any different to what you had been willing to do since you were 14? " She asked him. Yuzuru laughed bitterly, as he was practically being called a whore. " Be as smart as you had been, and play the game. A seat could be made for you in JSF at the end of the day, or you are on your own. Your choice!"

It was a certainly sobering conversation. Whilst he never expected politicking and favoritism, he understood the power any federation had over their athletes. Today he was in the position to say no because he was still the golden goose. He was backed by his reputation and results, his ability to bring in fans and revenue. But how long would that last? How many more competitions could he afford to lose? How many more times could he be seen so close to his rivals again in this highly competitive sport? With the Olympic season just around the corner, what were the odds of him actually fulfilling the promise that he made it to JSF all those years ago?

Those questions dominated his thoughts as he planned for his programs and layouts for the next season. They were there when he asked for a copy of the key to the rink so he could have it all to himself in the early mornings and late nights. His back hurt from receiving impact one too many times, his ankle twitched in pain as he pushed it to its limit as he attempted one Quad Lutz after another. They were there when he saw Javier and Miki holding their hands together, no longer withholding their relationship from the public. People cheered and teased good naturally, while they look into each others' eyes, and smiled with so much bliss. It only overwhelmed Yuzuru for a minute, before he found his composure. He was happy for them. Someone as kind as Javier deserved happiness more than anyone else. Whilst he might not be considered a friend anymore, it was the least he could do. So he swallowed a lump in his throat and cheered with the others. In the end, it was just a distraction to be pushed aside, skating was all that mattered, he told himself. He kept himself at the rink for hours on end. He stared at nothing after yet another fall as he laid on the cold hard ice, blinded by the massive ceiling lights. All he could hear was his own gasps for breath, as he begged his body to pull through one more time. 

He only got reminded of it again during one of his interviews, where he was asked about his ideal lover. He, who usually had a way diverting such line of questions, was suddenly lost for words. All he could think of was the way Javier looked at Miki, gentle eyes brimmed with so much affection, and said in an almost wistful tone, "Was it not enough to be in love? Was it not enough to be happy?" He heard gasps around him, and suddenly realized how personal those words had sounded. He quickly pulled up his innocent smile with a hint of embarrassment, just to stop people from going further down that line of questioning. 

One day, Nobu pulled him aside and asked him whether he was ok. Yuzuru looked at his senpai in surprise. Of course, he was. He was eating three meals a day, even though he struggled to keep half of them down. He made sure he laid on a bed for at least seven hours a night, even though he spent most of which staring at the ceiling, his head filled with thoughts that he managed to escape from during the day. He put in more and more hours of training, with his success rate for the Quad Lutz slowly but surely improving. If his ankle burst into pain during landings, it was nothing that couldn't be soothed with a bit of icing afterward. Of course, he was fine. He told Nobu as such, with his best sunny smile. And Nobu backed down.

The day the flower he bought for Saya got returned, he just came back from doing a publicity piece, where he had a training session with a young novice skater who also suffered from asthma. The boy, eyes bright with admiration, said he wanted to be exactly like him when he grew up. Yuzuru smiled, ruffled his hair, and hoped anything but that in his heart for that sweet child. He looked on with envy, as the small frame ran towards his family after the session had ended. His little hands held onto his parents' as he chattered about his day, with the adults smiling down at him like he was the center of their universe.

He recognized the bouquet almost immediately. After all, he was the one who painstakingly handpicked every peony in the most beautiful shades of red and white, each of them perfect with feathery soft petals. He handwrote a note with his well wishes, and signed it with a drawing of a mushroom, for he had always been her little mushroom and her his flower. They were now being sent back him, with the note crumpled and hidden amongst the blooms. He dumbly held them between his arms. It wasn't until Akihiro used his own body to shield him away from public eyes that he realized he had tears trailing down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Javier thought Yuzu had everything he could possibly asked for......🙃


	3. Chapter 3

His "affair" with Akihiro surfaced when Yuzuru was 16 years old. At least that was what the JSF and journalist who somehow got hold of such story dubbed it to be. 

He watched as his father and mother were made to bow their heads before a slew of executives from JSF, including the current President Seiko Hashimoto as her predecessor Kyoko Hirata, Akihiro's mother angrily threw stacks and stacks of photos at them. 

He watched as his parents picked up some of them with trembling fingers, as they took in the shots of "the couple" walking in and out of different love hotels, all with different time stamps. He watched as both of them gaped at him in disbelieve and horror.

He watched as Seiko told them a freelance journalist offered to sell JSF the story for an exorbitant amount of money, otherwise the story was to go public in three days' time. And there were plenty more to come with more explicit details. 

He watched as Kyoko called him many ugly names, accusing him of destroying her son's reputation. Her precious son, who should have such a bright future, now no matter of the outcome, forever stuck with a tainted image within the organization. The older women slammed her fist on the table, demanding to know what kind of family would raise such a dishonorable son. There would retribution, she threatened, money to keep the matter out of the press and compensation for tainting her son's image.

He watched as his parents fell on their knees in shame and fear, pressing their faces onto the ground. He knew his family didn't have much saving to speak of. Both of their children's skating expense had placed their family under such financial strain. He's proud father, the well-respected vice principal of the local high school, was on his knees groveling for forgiveness on behalf of his son.

He watched, as Akihiro bowed his head in a display of shame, citing he was weak to be tempted into a relationship. And people looked at him with pity and sympathy. 

He watched as his own mother scolded him for being insolent. Her hand on his wrist, trying to pull him down to the floor with them. Suddenly filled with indignation and the overwhelming need to protect, he brushed her hand off.

"The first time it happened I was 14, and I was drugged." He kept his back straight and his head held high. He raised his voice to ensure everyone in the room heard what he had to say. "I've kept a diary on every encounter since then - the place, the time and what was done to me. Let's see what the media would say if that gets out. A story on rape and pedophile would surely make every headline in the country."

The adults stared at him in disbelief, in his brazenness to speaking out when he had no place to and using such ugly words nonetheless. Akihiro, with so much sorrow and regret on display, and smugness that only Yuzuru could see, recounted every gift, every favor, every gesture of support in the exchange of his "affection". And Yuzuru couldn't deny any of them. 

Overwhelmed by the look of accusation around him and his own sense of shame, Yuzuru's trembled. Colour had completely drained from his parents' faces. He took a deep breath, as he gathered his courage. He looked to the only person who truly wielded power in the room - Seiko Hashimoto, knowing his chance laid in whether he could convince her. 

He reminded her that Akihiro's chronically back issue which had been getting worse with each passing season, and questioned his longevity as an athlete and ability to sustain at the current level. Kyoko enraged words was hushed quickly. Clearly, he now had Seiko's undivided attention.

"Hanyu-senshu, what exactly are you proposing? " She asked. He looked straight into her eyes, unwavering under her stern gaze. 

"Place your support behind me instead. " He pleaded boldly, his eyes bright with burning ambition, "And I will bring two Olympic gold medals to Japan."

He heard people around him laughing and mocking, for he was a stupid child with the seemly impossible dreams. And yet Seiko didn't. He saw the wheels churning in her mind, marveling what such feat could mean for her career. And how his achievements could be her crown jewel. At that moment he knew he had her. 

"Prove your worth to us, and in exchange, we will take care of everything else. " She finally made her call, to the utter incredulity of every other person in the room. 

Sense of triumph surged through every vein in his body, and for the first time that day, Yuzuru lowered his head and bowed, in gratitude of her placing faith on him when no one else would. 

In the 2011–12 Japan Championships, Yuzuru scored 241.91, just 12 points behind Japan's ace. The fact that he was first in the free skate with more than 9 points leads generated quite a buzz in the skating community. People were already whispering about the coming of a new era. 

In his senior Worlds debut, he won the bronze medal with a total score of 251.06 points, just behind Patrick Chan and his Japanese teammate. It was the first time Japan had two men on the World podium. JSF was sufficiently impressed. So when he requested to train abroad to improve his skills, the demand was readily met. In April 2012, he landed in Toronto, his second home for many years to come. Many medals and praises soon followed, but each of them came with their own prices.

Like his father's cold disdain of him for sullying the name that he had bestowed on him that symbolized confidence, strength, and integrity. Like his mothers' strained smile and her avoidance of his eyes. Like the way they looked at him - a virtual stranger in their household. Like what he saw every time he looked into a mirror - scarred, broken and so very ugly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the updated tag list for potential triggers. Thanks!

Akihiro's lack of interest in him didn't bother Yuzuru. At least not until the day he saw how the older man looked at Shun Sato, the 13-year-old genius from his hometown Sendai. 

With that familiar curve on those lips, he watched that young child on ice with same intense interest that Yuzuru was so accustomed to. The boy, with his naivety and innocence, soaked up the attention and praise exactly like he used to. After all, who wouldn't be excited to gain the attention of their idol?

Nobu, who stood beside him, commented, "Akihiro said he is looking to take up coaching. I wasn't expecting him to consider students at novice level though. Then again Shun-kun is an exceptional child with exceptional talent."

Everything suddenly made sense. It was the same old playbook: gaining the trust of the child first, then the family's. From there on, it would be a free rein. Children were taught to be quiet and obedient to their seniors and those in the position of authority from a young age. It virtually guaranteed their silence and compliance. He watched as his guts twisted. The few pitiful bites he forced himself to ingest during lunch turned into lead in his stomach.

For a moment, all he could see was himself at that age - the brilliant smile, the pure innocence, the unhindered happiness. He wondered how much longer they would last, until that child saw the darker side of the world, with so much ugliness that was enough to suffocate anyone.

It was a game of patience and manipulation, he saw it all so clearly now. And how long would Akihiro be willing to wait this time, he wondered. How long until that child's world to be turned upside and smeared in an ugly color of black? Knowing what was to come soon, his anger and shame made him walked away. 

If he dared to be honest with himself, for a few brief moments he was relieved. All he could think about was with Akihiro's shift of attention he could finally be free from the shame, the guilt, the anger, and the pain. He laughed at himself. Really, what did that say about him as a person? 

He supposed he was a coward. Other than taking his part in the ice show performances and media errands, he was in self-imposed isolation for days, just so he could be away from it all. As if ignoring an elephant in the room could magically make it disappear. The rooftop of the hotel they were staying became his new favorite spot.

There were safety fences set up all around the edge of the building, but not too high for him to climb over with little difficulty. He preferred to sit right on the edge of the concrete after training, with his feet dangling in the air. The cool night breeze was always soothing on his swollen ankle. All he could see before his eyes was vast darkness that intertwined with bright city lights, like the ice surface with endless stage lights projecting on top. It was beautiful and familiar. He found himself spellbound for hours at a time.

Sometimes, just sometimes, he thought about what it would have been like to step onto that darkness, with nothing but air supporting his body weight. Just a brief moment of ingrained sense of fear then nothingness, how easy it would have been....... Then he thought about the promise he had made to JSF, his commitment to his team and various media outlets, and the people who placed their expectations on him....... Must not be a burden to those around him, he scolded himself. 

It was unexpected to see Javier on one of those nights. Ever the gentleman, the Spaniard still felt the need to personally inform him of his new relationship status after all that had happened between them. 

Javier, one of the kindest people he had ever met, had even apologized for the night they spent together at Helsinki. Yuzuru was surprised. All he did was offering a bit of comfort after what must have been a difficult competition. He never expected Javier to be so guilty about it. Looking back, he was never a gracious loser when it was his turn to concede the crown. He was just trying to be a better person for once. 

If he were honest with himself, the Spaniard had always been a special presence for him. For so many years, he was incapable of establishing normal human connections. He had no basic understanding of want or need, other than his single-mindedness to win. Happiness had become a distant memory that faded more with every day that passed by. He could smile, he could laugh, he could mimic every normal human function to play a role because he wanted to be seen as normal. But underneath it all, he had a limited understanding of his fellow members of society, like what made them happy, what made them sad, what made them connect with one and another. It was like he was an entirely different creature underneath his human shell, made from the broken mess and tainted darkness.

When he was younger, he had felt tingles of attraction in a few rare moments. But those tiny flames were easily snuffed out when Akihiro pushed him onto a bed. He squeezed his eyes shut as he came under those skillful fingers, leaving him feeling cold and empty. 

Javier was the second person he had ever engaged in a sexual relationship with. Perhaps being away from the older Japanese man for two years somehow was enough awake those forgotten emotions. For the first time, he acted on his desire. He was bold enough to get what he wanted. After all, it was nothing but physical intimacy, what could have gone wrong? Except it had, hadn't it? It nearly ruined one friendship he cared most about.

Javier had always called him a good person. Was he though? The Spaniard was straight and attracted him, and he didn't hesitate in taking advantage of that weakness. It was hardly fair. But that selfish part of him wanted him, that handsome man with kind smiles and warm hugs. That generous man, who willingly shared the rink and the coaching team with him, and put up with his obsessive need to win. His ingrained kindness never withered no matter how many medals he had taken from the Spaniard's hands. 

If he dared to be truthful with himself, underneath all that sexual attraction he had wanted something more. Then again, he couldn't help but wondered what Javier would have thought of him if he saw him as he truly was. Would his never-ending kindness and generous nature turn to coldness and disdain as well? He shuddered just at that thought. So he made sure he kept some distance. 

None of that matter now. At least he had his friend back. Javier's hug was warm and almost engulfing. It had been so long that Yuzuru almost forgot how good it felt. All he could feel was the warmth of his skin as those arms tightened around his waist. The heat permeated through the fabric and burned onto his skin. A small part of him that had always held onto hope that there could have been something more between them died at that moment. Javier had made his choice, and now Yuzuru had to make his decision. And he knew exactly what was the right thing to do.

When he approached Akihiro and made his proposal, he finally took his eyes off Shun and looked at him in surprise.

Yuzuru leaned in and whispered into his ear. The older man's eyes widened. The younger man smirked, knowing he had him.

That night, Yuzuru stared at him straight in the eyes as his teeth grazed his erection, his smile defiant and challenging. Akihiro cursed in pain. His fingers tightened on his scalp, pulling on his hair hard, hard enough to draw tears. Yuzuru closed his eyes before taking the entire length in. All he could see was that beautiful vast darkness intertwined with city lights behind his eyelids.


End file.
